Donnerstag, November 24, 2005
Barely waking up from all that has been happening to my life right now. Good or on the other hand, bad? I guess, sometimes people have the right to feel this way.Have u ever woken up from a dream and think of this life? Like somehow you just want to run away and scram and no one wants to run along with you? And how it could happen to u the way or even not the way u want it to be? Or sometimes u hold onto a time that things cannot explain what happen or holding onto a thin thread with slim chances that u think life is just a mistake to you? Or you a mistake to life instead?
I do made mistakes along my life and sometimes I even feel sick of this life but does everyone have the right to feel this way sometimes? If life has gotten on so far and good, there are no such words as mistakes or perfect or even the reasons to feel this way. Definitely, there is no such life as perfect, good or even just being perfect. I guess its all bullshit, huh.
When u need not let the world know how your life is crumbling down on you, you hang on to it. U stay put and u did not recognize how big this word “defeat” can settle u in that easily. U pretend to be stronger than you can imagine even when it is breaking you down. But the thought that you are even stronger in person, u almost realize that it did not even exists at all. You know it in yourself and u know that it is what u want it to be yourself. You are slipping by the edge and u hang on to the thread not even willing to give it up and admit defeat. So you fight, you push, you sacrifice yourself not others and u drove miles and miles to get to where you are. Then out of that bend of your road, u stopped and arrived to that arena where life actually has been good for you after all. Even dragging your feet reluctantly, you have proven that life so far has got what it takes for you eventually and not some delusions u have made out in some pathetic drama…
